The emoji game worth wasting time on. You’ll hate yourself.

The Japanese have given us so much. Sushi. Seizure-inducing children’s cartoons. Tentacle porn.

Best of all, they have given us emoji.

Parades lets you use brightly colored pictures of poo and polished nails to play a stupid game. Invite friends, ex-lovers, or your one weird aunt to make the best emoji versions of common American phrases. Play phrases like “Murder-suicide pact”, “Dumpster diving”, “Twerking” and “Cultural appropriation”.

Parades is the second most fun you could ever have with your iPhone. Playing it is a waste of time. You’ll hate yourself.

Duke Dook, the Prince of Poo, holding an iPhone.

Want to be the first to give us all your money? Put your email address in this box and we’ll tell you when Parades is ready to play.